so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
