You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
well you can't waste a boner
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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