Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
