Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
