I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
