I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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