My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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