I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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