Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
