I think i sorta joined a cult last night
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
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Reggie can tackle my bush.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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