Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
