I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
send nudes
from the living room?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
