i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize
