He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
