I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
