I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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