i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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