i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize