fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
