is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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