My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
