Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
