Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
