To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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