in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize