TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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