Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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