dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
