Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
