this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
