I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
love makes seman taste better
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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