Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
