I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just cropdusted the office
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
