I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
