Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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