Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
