oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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