Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
