I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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