Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
