wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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