The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
