Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
