Swine flu. Run for my life!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
