The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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