Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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