Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
