I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I want to have your abortion
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
In America we eat man semen.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
