dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
