We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
