a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
