508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
