Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
