think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
