Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
