Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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