I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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