Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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